Unquiet Emancipation
by JD4
Summary: Ficlet inspired by the final scenes of "X2" and the overplayed but incredibly apropos Evanescence


**DISCLAIMER**: The following things belong to me: my sense of irony, my stunningly stupid sense of humor, my adult acne, and my pens.  The following things do not belong to me: The X-Men (no, not even Scott), the movie "X2," and the song "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence.

**SPOILERS: **"X2." Which, if you haven't yet seen, stop reading right now and plunk down the eight-or-more dollars necessary.  You will be amazed.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**  After seeing "X2" three times, I still cannot cleanse my head of the last scenes of the film.  Moreover, every format of radio station currently has Evanescence's "Bring Me to Life" on its playlist, and I can't listen to that song without perceiving it as a type of metaphysical, split-second conversation between Jean and the Phoenix force.  So out this spewed.  This is my first (and probably only) X-Men fanfic.

**UNQUIET EMANCIPATION**

With a weight on her heart, she made her choice.  As she descended the ramp, however, the heaviness brought on by fear and dread dissipated, leaving in its stead the airy crispness of certainty.  She knew what she would do, and she knew it would save them.

No longer shackled by the self-doubt that had taunted her throughout her admittedly exceptional life, even as recently as their strike on Liberty Island, she stood between the craft and the dam.  No sooner had she steadied herself for the arduous task at hand than she heard him call to her:  "Jean?"

But she steeled her mind from the probing thoughts of her mentor and focused on the ship.  She gave herself over to her powers, bringing the drained engines back online.  Just as the hum of the Blackbird's rejuvenated energy source began to calm and reassure Jean, her ears picked up on an awful sound--a cacophony of frozen bark cracking and air being forced to evacuate at a heart-stopping speed.  The angry gurgling of volumes of icy waters pulsed toward her, and she instinctively raised her free hand to divert the rapids around her and the ship.  Stray blasts of arctic water pelted her face and body, but she did not waiver.

She drew upon the reserves of her energy and strength, tapping any hidden resources, and did the unthinkable: She raised the ship from the cold ground with an unremitting awesomeness that, had she not been entirely mesmerized by her obligation, would have astounded her.  Never before had she tested herself and her abilities so unforgivingly.  Yet there was something more lurking inside of her, an assuredness that must have always been dormant, concealing itself in the recesses of her mind and soul.

She detected the myriad combating emotions coming from the ship, but rather than opening herself to her companions, she erected barriers to keep them out.  She would not be moved.  A fire twitched within her, yet she had no sensation of being in her body.  She _was_ her mind.

Finally, she reached out to speak, to explain in the only way she could.

"I know what I'm doing.  This is the only way."

Satisfied that her friends were safe from danger, she felt a burst of heat in her mind, her eyes ablaze with unrestrained power like she had never before endured.  Although acceptance won out and overcame her, she did not want to end her life in a sea of blackness.  Regret over her decision never invaded her thoughts, yet the self-preservation instinct is colossally strong, especially in one who has been on guard against persecution for being "different" for so long.

"Goodbye."

Finally able to exhale fully, Jean lowered her hands and in an instant was absorbed into the flood.

* * * * *

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors_

_Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb_

_Without a soul_

_My spirit sleeping somewhere cold_

_Until you find it there and lead it back home_

"Jean."

A different voice.  It was there suddenly, full of heft and heat.

_Wake me up inside_

_Wake me up inside_

_Call my name and save me from the dark_

"I am fire, a force of life."

Another missive pierced her mind as her body remained pushed down by the numbing sea, seeping her last energies and her glimmer of life.

_Bid my blood to run_

_Before I come undone_

_Save me from the nothing I've become_

"You called out for aid. I answered."

The timbre was oddly familiar, something that had been with her for a while now, hiding in the light.  Her mind was collapsing onto itself, shrinking as the lack of oxygen constricted her very thoughts down to near nothingness.

_Now that I know what I'm without_

_You can't just leave me_

_Breathe into me and make me real_

_Bring me to life_

A foreboding quietly echoed in her ears, warning against a hastily made pact.  But the innate desire to stay alive is an irrefutable inclination in man and mutant alike, and she felt herself acquiesce almost without delay.

_Frozen inside without your touch without your love darling_

_Only you are the life among the dead_

She continued her descent while simultaneously ascending, cleaved in two, dying yet soaring, with a force unfathomable and terrifyingly breathtaking.

_All this time I can't believe I couldn't see_

_Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me_

_I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems_

_Got to open my eyes to everything_

_Without a thought_

_Without a voice_

_Without a soul_

_Don't let me die here_

_There must be something more_

_Bring me to life_

"I am fire and life incarnate! Now and forever, I am Phoenix!"


End file.
